My visit to get screened for cancer:
- Nurse: "Sorry your boyfriend couldn't wait for you in the waiting room, it makes women feel uncomfortable."
- Me: "He wasn't my boyfriend and I don't see how it would make them uncomfortable, but that's my opinion. He was here for moral support. I understood, and so does he."
- Nurse: "So he's your...."
- Me: "Friend."
- Nurse: (During the question asking) "How many sexual partners have you had?"
- Me: "11."
- Nurse: "How old were you when you first became sexually active?"
- Me: "....Loaded question but....14, I guess."
- Nurse: "You're sexually active, then."
- Me: "Well....I guess...but..."
- Nurse: "How many times have you been pregnant?"
- Me: "Uh. 0."
- Nurse: "O...kayy...-Checks 'condoms' as my preferred use of birth control-"
- Me: "I don't use condoms. Or take birth control."
- Nurse: "Then how do you avoid getting pregnant?"
- Me: "With homosexuality."
- Nurse:
- Me:
- Nurse:
- Me: "I fuck girls."
The Legend of Zelda major races (1986-2013)
midna tries to flirt w/ zelda but zelda doesn’t notice because she thought midna was just being friendly and midna asks link for help
“how do i get zelda to like me”
“buy her a goat”
“no god damn it link ugh”
midna leaves and then the next morning she visits zelda and sees her staring at a goat with the words “midna thinks ur cute” shaved in its fur and link’s hiding in a bush nearby giving midna a thumbs-up
